Why this subject? It all stems from a conversation with a family member while housing them for a night because their power was out from a ice storm in March. Another reason is I have been internet dating since April with some interesting circumstances that press me to write about why I'm giving it up.
I am so interested in saying 'I do' to the one that God created for me. Despite what others may have been thinking this is what I want more than anything. I took a break after my last relationship of almost three years to rejuvenate who I am and who God wants me to be. I found that I am this caring, loving, compassionate child of God that wants to help others find the same part of their heart and share it with my future husband and eventually children.
You are probably wondering what circumstances in the internet dating world have sprung me to just live life and find my future mate in every day living. Many of them were men with children. While I do not mind becoming a step-mom I also looked at their parenting techniques and felt they were either too extreme or not quite enough. I found they were too eagerly trying to find that replacement mother figure in their family. Most mothers were not active, it broke my heart, and I knew that was the wrong reason to enter the relationship. I also found that I learned less about them and more about their children. While their children are a very important part of their life and identity there is so much to learn about them as an individual. I found it very hard for them to not hide behind their children since the notation was already revealed on the internet dating site.
There were also those that have already been married at one point and I could tell they needed a little more time to turn that corner. One guy was very eager and spilled too much on the first meeting. Take note: don't talk about marriage and arranging to meet your child on the first date. It was a red flag in my book that shouted, "Hey! I barely know you but let's become one because we're both single and I need someone to mother my child(ren)."
Some guys just fell off the face of the earth. I never heard from them again with no explanation as of to why. I realize that I do not need these cowards in my life but I care and hope they are okay despite their lack of respect to say they are not interested. One would repeatedly come back and say he was interested then never talk to me for months at a time. Jerk! Sorry, that wasn't very kind of me but that is how I feel and he is definitely not being kind to me. What goes around comes around! Oh, there's the one that stood me up and still randomly texts me. I think he might have something mentally wrong.
I was walking with a newly married and soon-to-be mom friend yesterday. I revealed to her my intent to give up internet dating and she sighed in relief. Her husband had told her that he hopes I quit and feels that I will meet someone while living life as I already do. I am so blessed to have friends with husbands that care about me like I'm part of the family. I do warn men often of my incredible support system that includes a cop, a veteran and three sisters that will not hesitate to show them the door or worse. A big thank you and I love you to my support system.
I have come to the conclusion that I am only going to find that guy that has the same interests as I do while doing those interests. God, theatre, and music will bring the person meant for me into my life. One day this country girl geek will find the man of her dreams that treats her the way God intended.
Thanks for reading,
Manda
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